Hello Dear friends!
I am about a week and a half into a 6 week intensive energy work program called Immersion Solution with David Morelli. This program is all about clearing your blocks to the real YOU that is burning to be released :). I wrote out this experience after one of our daily morning meditations when I had -yet another- profound shift along my growth process. Listening to our inner guidance from our Higher Self is the absolute KEY to ANYTHING of ANY real Value and Meaning and must ALWAYS be trusted and followed.
For some reason beyond my understanding, I was told to post this experience publicly. (EEEEKKK!!! REALLY???…. Well… ok … if you say so … )
So here is my truth in all it’s rawness.
With Much Love-
Dearest David and Beloved Community,
(Jeez… I feel like I started out as if I am about to make a disappointing confession -more clearing to do as I know this is a WONDERFUL confession… I had to go do some jumping jacks and jump on the trampoline to release some of the frenetic energy pumping my heart right now!! Please bare w/ me as I try to make this message as concise & clear as possible. I will post this in breakthroughs too.
As I have mentioned before I am simultaneously doing A Course in Miracles (involving a year of daily lessons -quite an intensive process in it’s self. I am on lesson 268 – “Let all things be exactly as they are” (Divine Truth/ Love)) & reading the book Zero Limits about Ho’oponopono clearing.
Both of these practices focus on releasing, clearing, forgiving & allowing a return to Divine peace. Basically releasing/clearing anything & everything that is not peaceful & loving. In fact, the absolute root of both practices is to let go of everything & simply Love.
Void of Intention.
This has been the hardest part for me because I have always been a driven, motivated & goal oriented person & created much because of it. Though I have always been very intuitive w/ often amazing inspirations, I can get myself worked up in an anxious frenzy feeling like I must “work hard”, “force”, & always be active. Over the years I have become MUCH better at letting go in the flow -which sometimes means letting my house be a pigsty for a couple days while I let myself rest.
The reason ACIM & Ho’oponopono say NOT to Intend is because when we intend we are actually getting in the way of Divinity that is SO MUCH smarter & more amazing than what we could consciously conceive. The Divine already Knows what we want as the Divine IS our Hear and SOUL. To Intend from our limited consciousness or Plan is to not have Faith in Divinity to give us Miracles & not Trusting in perfect timing. As David says, allow for “EVEN BETTER”.
In my past (a statement of release) I have had a Very hard time with this because, being an extremely intuitive person, I have seen & felt some AMAZING visions of my future & inspirations to “get there”. But… I would become so attached to my visions that I would start to feel anxious, gripping & overwhelmed w/ the “how am I going to accomplish this????”. Not only that, but the intense URGE to “get THERE” would then make me feel frustrated & depressed that it wasn’t here yet. like “I indented to well, so …. where’s my stuff???” … All that energy does it Block the Flow & get in the way…
So… then, I felt like I had to give up all my Dreams and Goals as I am not supposed to intend. For me, this resulted in several relatively brief (brief because I work energy & constantly ask for help) bouts of extreme depression. At the time, giving up Everything to Divine flow & order felt like giving up my soul & most prized Loves of my Heart. Surrendering to being a lifeless, goal-less, pile of mush that is supposed to just be happy w/ doing & being nothing. (wow -surprised to have tears resurfacing). I sobbed. I moped. I felt drained & lifeless.
But after that, the Miracles happened.
I felt such incredible LOVE, Peace & Bliss!! And guess What?? ALL MY DREAMS & VISIONS CAME BACK CLEARER, BRIGHTER & CLOSER Than before!!. BECAUSE my deepest desires ARE DIVINE INTENTION!! It’s not that I am telling the Universe what I want, My DEEPER desires ARE the DIVINE telling me WHAT I AM!! I received totally OUT OF THE BOX inspirations that are so much BETTER than anything I could Dream of! AND I had such a sense of peaceful and perfect unfolding!!
I have been doing Davids style of energy clearing for several years (w/ the exception that I draw the Gold from WITHIN my Heart & expand out Knowing that the Divine Flow is ALREADY IN ME and IS my TRUTH RELEASED) & I have found it to be in perfect alignment w/ the above mentioned methods. In fact, My spiritual Growth & process of uncovering Divine Self has been EVEN MORE POWERFUL using the energy work techniques! In Truth THAT IS THE POINT. AS David keeps saying “Uncovering the REAL YOU”.
My apologies for making this so long, but I felt I needed to explain the root of this AM’s meditation revelation for me. I feel a little self judgement as I am about to explain further because there is almost a feeling of letting someone down -Perhaps David?- Even though I KNOW this is Perfect & DIVINE & in truth, I know it is in Harmony with Davids TRUE INTENTION of giving this course.
*Tears* (It’s weird. I feel like I am leaving this course even though I know I am not. I guess part of my letting go of past “set intentions” & re-aligning in the NOW… funny how much it feels like David & Kristin separating & so many other similar patterns I’ve seen in my own life)
When I do my own guided meditations, I rarely -if ever- plan. Turns out, this is in perfect alignment w/ ACIM & Ho’oponopono. No planning allows an opening for Divine Inspiration. (My apologies again -Especially to David- as it is not my intention at all to be conflicting or combative to David’s Incredible & Invaluable teaching. This is simply ~*MY*~ PROCESS & experience. Actually, this is the same reason David’s calls are always so much longer than planned- He’s going w/ Divine Flow,)
Well, since I set my intention/Goals for what I am going to accomplish during this I.S., (Publishing my e-book by about the 4th week of the Immersion, soon after releasing my inspired video/book trailer, generating funds to be able to take the Enwaken program & creating a proposal for a workshop @ my community Spiritual Center -all things that came to me in meditation) I have been feeling an underlying anxiousness, pressure & stress of my looming projected time lines & goals. Which, despite the meditations, Gold, & loving release, is making me feel awful. I noticed because of the time line I put on my purpose, I feel an underlying anxiety about meeting that time line & feel less able to relax into a flow.
I have even found it a little harder to relax & enjoy the wonderful simple things like my children & joyous flow because I feel an underlying nagging time line.
I know this is MY creation. Not David’s or anyone else’s. And I realize MY time & “motivation” is actually blocking my DIVINE flow.
Last night I participated in a group blessing where we were supposed to intend our “wishes”. As I was visualizing my book release, family, money, travel & freedom, it felt contrived & I didn’t feel I was getting it right. Then I landed on the ONE GOAL that felt like the all-encompassing, most joy producing, perfect Intention. To Know My DIVINE SELF.
During this AM’s med, I realized I had to let go of my goal & my time line & COMPLETELY SURRENDER to DIVINE FLOW & SERVICE. Although I have known my books & my writing are a part of MY DIVINE PURPOSE & ARE Inspired, I felt like trying to put it into MY time line or even thinking about a “due date” was adding pressure & Mucking up the process. It may very well happen sooner & better, or later & better but either way, I realized I have to let it go & trust. In every moment I will simply ask My Divine Self, “What would you have me do now to express my greatest Truth?”. All else will flow in line as a result. Greatest Joy, Peace and Love.
At first I felt like I was giving up my goal & letting people down by changing my intention, & I wondered if this was a form of Hiding out, procrastinating or avoiding taking action. But actually, I feel like my actions will be so much more powerful. As David has mentioned. INSPIRED ACTION. I’ve just taken my silly little fearful human pressure off it.
So Much Love to you all!!
-Jamie M Eastman